A LETTER FROM A REDNECK MOTHER TO HER SON

Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know youcan't read
fast. We don't live where we did when you left.
Your dad read inthe paper that most accidents
happen within twenty miles of home, so we
moved. Won't beable to send you the address as
the last Arkansas family that lived here took the
numberswith them for their house, so they
wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I
put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't
seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, threedays the first
time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you,Aunt
Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in
the mail with them heavy buttons,so we cut
them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, andit said if
we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's
funderal bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby thismorning. I
haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl
so don't know if youare an Aunt or Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskeyvat. Some
men tried to get him out, but he fought them off
playfully, so hedrowned. We cremated him and
he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off thebridge in a
pickup. One was driving and the other two were
in the back. Thedriver got out. He rolled down the
window and swam to safery. The other
2drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time. Nothing much
happened. If you don't get this letter, please let
me know and I willsend another one.
Love, Ma